Jinx's Decision
by DianaGohan
Summary: This is a story that takes place between Lightspeed And Calling All Titans that goes into Jinx's head to see where she's been and where's she's going. First Person POV.


Sorry it took long to make another story loyal fans (uh if I have any) but here it is. It's different though not only is it a Teen Titans story (none of the characters here belong to me they belong to DC Comics and Cartoon Network Studios) it's sort of dramatic. Still hope you like it though.

"Jynx's Decision"  
By DianaGohan.

Good, or evil?

Nice, or naughty?

Black or white?

These seem like such obvious choices. Something that anyone could just pick and go with. And perhaps most people can. Not me though. This is a question that's haunted me every day. Even when I thought it didn't, it did. But now... now I can't ignore it anymore. I just have to pick one... and stick with it. No matter what.

On one hand, I've been a villian all my life. At least from what I can remember anyway. Afterall, I'm bad luck. Something I was born with. Something that manisfested itself uncontrollably the minute I was out of my mother. Something killed them both. I didn't mean for the light fixture to come down on them... to crush them like that. I just looked up and it happened. I didn't even know how I survived. I guess I was "lucky" enough to fall to the slide. But I know one thing: it was my fault, intentional or not. And when the first memory you have is of your parents own demise, then I guess it's just natural to assume what you'll become in life.

Of course it's not like I had a choice the first few years of my life either. I mean after that I was sent over to some temples in the east. Away from most people, away from where I could be "harmful". I don't know who decided that though. The hospital doctors, the state, fate, but whoever did placed me in the care of a collection of temples. One was for harnassing powers. Another was for gaining them. Whatever they were though, I could feel that they were evil. The vibe they gave off, it just sickened me. And yet the longer I stayed, the more I breathed it in, the more it became a part of me. The more I began to like it.

I know there was where I gained control of these powers, of these "hexes" I could pull on people. By age 4 I could cause bad luck with only one simple thought, totally under my own control. I guess some would say I was lucky. I didn't feel that way though. I felt unlucky, a plague on the world... a jynx you could call it. Afterall it wasn't my parents that I hurt. The years that I had been training many others had fallen victim to my powers, accidental or not. A slip there, a collapse here. I just seemed to be bringing everyone this pain... this Jynx. Which is what I started calling myself. And that's the name that always stuck with me. It's all I ever really knew really: bringing pain, bringing destruction. And "lucky" enough for me, that was what was needed to be a part of this temple.

However that's not to say I didn't know of such things of heroism, of justice. I heard about those acts all the time, listening in to the temple elders talk about the up and coming heroes of the world. I didn't believe them at first: afterall it seemed like bringing pain and misery was the only thing you could do really. It was the only thing I knew how to do, and yet the more they talked about it, the more I enjoyed it. Afterall, I rarlrey felt any pleasure from the pain I caused. It's just something I felt I had to do. That I had no choice in the matter. Afterall when you're brought up as bad luck, how can you expect any good to come from you?

But that all changed one day. I was eight years old and had left the temple, completing my "training". I didn't know where I would go really. They had just kicked me out after graudation when they thought I had become to enthralled with the ideas of heroism. And so I wandered alone in this unknown place, wondering what to do with my life. I didn't know where I was, but I do remember it being cold. So cold I felt I was freezing to death. My "bad luck" couldn't help me. In fact it just seemed to be making things worse. I soon found myself in a snowstorm, one of the worst I had ever seen. It was literally up to my eyelids. I could feel myself drowning in the snow, calling for help. I don't know why I did: maybe it was just instinct. But to my surprise though, help did actually come.

When everyone thinks of heroes, they only think of those guys in red and blue tights flying around and blasting monsters with laser vision. Or maybe dark broody guys with issue tossing batarangs at even weirder freaks in masks. They think of mutants, they think of those born with incredible power or those with unbelievable gadgets. Sure they think of the lesser heroes, the ones who dont' have any of those things, but only in comparision with those mentioned above. But that's not what I was thinking when I felt someone digging me out of the snow. I didn't even know who he was, but I could sense he was just a normal man. A guy in a great blue jacket budleded up to be walking around in such harsh condition. One who started carrying me in his arms, away from the snow and into a house. I could only hazily look around, desperate to know what was going on. When my senses started to clear more, I could see him more in detail, and here what he was saying to me...

"Are you alright?" I remembered him asking. I nodded, still confused as I started to speak back to him.

"Who are you? Where did you take me?" He smiled and held out his hand.

"Just think of me as one of those mountain men, living in his little mountain house". He then walked off for a second and came back with a blanket, drapping it around my shoulders. I could feel that there was already one there, and for the first time I felt warm, both inside and out. He then leaned down, also appearing confused. "I was walking home and saw you freezing to death in the snow, so I just had to save you. Couldn't let a kid just stay there".

"But why would you save me? You don't even know who I am... what I've done."

"That dosen't matter". He then leaned even closer to me. "It's just human deceny to help out someone when you can. Besides, what could a little girl like you have done anyway?" This man obviously didn't know me. And yet at the same time, I felt save with him. Something I didn't want taken away from me. But I was still confused. What did he mean by "human decencey" anyway?

"So you're saying you would just save me like that because I was in trouble. But you're not even a hero. You don't have any powers."

"You don't need powers to be a hero. You just need to want to help people." Those words, for better or worse, would always stick by me. And so would what happened next. The man left the room to make me some soup. I was left alone, to ponder his words, and to feel this warmth inside of me. For the first time in my life, I felt truley happy. However, as if destiny was slapping me in the face, I heard the man scream. I lept off the table to seem him in his kitchen, flames all around his body as he yelled in agonziging pain. I was confused. How was this happening to him? And then I felt my own hands. The warmth coming from them. The warmth that had gone on to him, mixed with my bad luck and caused, this. I gasped at this, backing away as I could feel the heat start to spread around the entire house, causing it to burn.

"I...I'm so...I..." was all I could say in a panicked state. I looked to see the only one to ever show me kindess burn to death. Because of me. I was panicked, confused, even more so then before. I could feel myself rise up above the ground, out of the house and back into the snow. For the first time, I was flying, not bound to the rules of gravity. I looked down and could see the house burning into nothing but a cinder, and for the first time I thought I knew what I had to do. I knew I couldn't help people. My powers were made to hurt them, to harm them. To society I would be nothing but a Jynx, something to cause them pain and misfortune. And if I tried to help, I would only end up doing this again. I didn't like it, but I knew that's what I had to do. What I... would do.

I flew for days upon days, unsure of where I was going. I must of burnt out every reservoir of my energy source though before I landed near the H.I.V.E Academy. Like the temples before hand, they took me in, fed me, healed me, and taught me how to harness my powers for evil. But this time though, I knew that was my only choice. That I would have to accept this life. After a few years I found myself parterned with others who shared my goals of comitting destruction and pain. Onces assigned to be partners with me in comitting various misdeeds. We rose to the highest point of our class, becoming the elites of the HIVE. I thought that I was happy doing that. I had tricked myself into beleiving that I was bad. That no force could stop me from doing what I felt I had to do.

Reality is a bitch though. As soon as we became the elites, we were given our first real assignement: the destruction of the Teen Titans. Seemed like a simple enough job. There were five of them and only three of us, but they weren't organized, or as well trained as we were. We took them down easily, supposedley killed they're leader, and took they're tower. It had seemed so easy. And in a way it did feel good to make them squirm in pain, washing them away in a tidal wave of they're own inexpierence. And yet wandering around they're tower, I also had different feelings start sprining through my mind. Seeing how they lived, how they had fun with each other, how they didn't need to convince themselves of who they were... made me feel pretty angry. And yet at the same time, they're life seemed more free then my own. They could just sit around and eat pizza all day while we were stuck training and committing evil acts. I wondered for a brief second why I was stuck here, stuck as a member of this H.I.V.E. But thinking back to that fateful day I realized that I was evil. That I didn't want nor in a way deserve what they have. Or had anyway.

That victory only lasted a short time though. Somehow they had learned to team up, to work together in time to defeat us. My own defeat came from wandering into a trap exposing my anger and mis-use of my powers. I had them under control, and yet still didn't in a way. I knew sometimes it felt as if they were the ones controlling me, and this time around it led to my own defeat. We were seperated and jailed, eventually escaping (although Gizmo did it more times then either me or Mammoth) and re-joining the H.I.V.E, now under the leadership of a new task ruler, named Brother Blood.

Blood was a lot stritcter then our old headmistress, wanting us to rush and complete this goal he had assigned for us. And yet at the same time he actually treated us like teenagers, instead of just soliders in training. I actually enjoyed my time there, espically with one of the new recruits who called himself Stone. I thought that for once I would actually be happy doing what I thought I was destined to do, but when it was revealed Stone was just one of the titans in disguise, my heart sunk and I felt even worse then before. I had been betrayed and humilated by him, but at the same time it was just another omen of my destiny: to cause pain, to neither give joy nor recieve it.

It was this defeat thought that seperated me from the H.I.V.E for good. At least in the orginizational sense. Me and some of the other members formed our own gang which committed various crimes, always being stopped by the Teen Titans. (One time they even had the gall to send this evil woman in a pie to try and brainwash us which we thankfully were able to stop and throw in some magic oven. It's hard to remember exactly what happened but I know no one had a good time in that particular expierence). However when the Titans (of the east and west) left to fight villianry around the globe, the entire city was ours. We could do whatever we pleased, and I was the only one calling the shots. I knew I was the best to lead us to our mission of causing pain, of causing agony around this city. Afterall, the others (we had obtained two new members outside of the H.I.V.E as one of our members left to go rampage another city) were focused on just goofing off or being stupid. They didn't see the "full picture" like I thought I did. However, it was here that my picture would be tilted by an unknown figure. One who is changing my entire view around. One who made me feel an uncertainity for the first real time in years.

One called Kid Flash.

He was one of the most powerful of Titans, being able to obtain speeds of hundreds of miles an hour in a blink of an eye. At first though all I could think of him was someone who would further my reupation. Perhaps gain me membership into the Brotherhood of Evil. Afterall I knew they were the ones who knew best on how to cause the world misery and pain. With them, perhaps I could finally fufill my destiny, and find out how to actually enjoy all the pain I had been causing. The others didn't really care though, but they helped me to trap this Kid Flash at a museum. I had come to him first. I suspected he had some kind of crush for me, leaving a flower behind on our first meeting. And although I played the part of one trying to change they're ways, a part of me also wanted to believe his words. That he could take me away from them. That I wouldn't need to comitt evil anymore. But that was only a small part of me. The rest focused on actually capturing him, planning on turning him over to the Brotherhood where I would be able to fufill my destiny.

But he didn't make it easy on us. Even when captured he ripped through our fortress as if it were nothing. He still tried to convince me what i was doing was wrong, but was to real angry to care. I felt that he was a threat to me even obtaining real peace, of obtaining the respect I thought I could get when I became a true "villian". However, I didn't expect one of those to actually come when my mission was deemed a failure. One I had thought was something I wanted to be.

Madam Rouge was not only one of the leaders of the Brotherhood of Evil, but had more power and respect in the villian world then even the highest members of the H.I.V.E. I saw that "respect" first hand when she was able to spook my teammates like nothing, and that power when she had taken down kid Flash, who seemed to be pratically invisble. And yet when seeing her I could tell my vision was wrong. She was as cold and as evil as I had thought, but yet seeing her do it up close made me realize I wasn't like her. I finally realized no matter how much I convinced myself I was bad, I wasn't. I thought back to that fateful day years ago and realized how much I wanted to save that man, like he did me. But I couldn't change the past. But maybe I could at least help makes things better. I defeated Rouge and saved Kid Flash. Afterall he had helped save me in a way, making me realize I wasn't as "black" as I had thought. I then left the team to do some thinking. To find out where I belong. And I guess that's where I am now.

I still don't know though... on one hand, I know I'll never be happy if I am a villain. That the "friends" I have won't be real, that I really can't bring myself to cause misery and pain to anyone intentionally. And yet if I'm a hero, will I be able to control my powers to actually help people instead of hurting them? Will I be able to make the world a better place? It's just so... confusing. But I need to decide now though. If I don't I'll just be unsure forever, wandering around alond and confused. And I know I won't life that way. I just wish for once that I could have some good luck. That things could actually go my way...

Wait what's that? I didn't see anything and now there's this... note in front of me, attached to some flower. It has to be him! That Kid Flash again! But now what does he want. Better go read this letter and find out... Hmmmm...

"Hey Ji. Sorry I can't talk to you in person. Busy stopping a bank robbery. I think you know by who. I just wanted to write this to sort of help you out. I know you're going through a tough transistion period now, but I want you to know that I'll be there for you. Afterall I'm a hero. And in case you didn't know, that's more then just having power. It's about helping people right?" Helping people.. that's just what that man said to me. But... but what if I can't help people? "Look I know you don't like hurting guys like your other "friends" did. I could see that in your eyes the last time we met. And I know you can use those powers of yours for good, if you try. You're an exceptional young woman Jynx, and I'm sure if you put you're mind to it, you could do anything you want to do. Maybe you just need some support. And if you, I'm all yours. If you could catch me that is, wink wink. Hope to chat with you later." And now all it says his signature.

... Good or evil?

Nice or naughty?

Black or white?

I've decided now. Maybe it's the wrong decision, but I want to be happy, I want to be nice, I want to at least try to be on the good side. Maybe I won't be a hero, but I'm not going to let my powers, or my past control me. I have a future to think about, and one that I will enjoy. I just have to believe in myself, trust that I'm doing the right thing, and maybe just maybe...

I'll get some good luck for one.

THE END!

Well hope you enjoyed that. And remember to review to say if you want any more or something.


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